Falling Walls and Chasing Destiny
by 2obsesed2think
Summary: Clare finds her life falling apart again. Her father moves away, and her mother gets married, bringing in a new step sister, Lilly, in the family, who soon develops a friendship with Eli and Adam. Can Clare keep herself together? Full summary inside!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Clare's life begins to fall apart, just as she thinks it's going to get better. Her mom is getting remarried, and she can't help but be bitter with her new step-sister, Lilly. Things don't seem right with her new boyfriend, even though everything is going perfectly. And she still can't shed the pain her break-up with Eli caused her. Can she handle the stress her new school year will bring? **

**Lilly, on the other hand, just moved away from the only place she's ever known. Her new step-sister, Clare, wants nothing to do with her, and marks her as a bad person with out even knowing her. She takes her moving as a fresh start. But, she soon realizes that she can't run from her past forever.**

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><p><em><strong>Author's Note: The summary isn't that great. I have the first few chapters written, and they aren't that good, but I <strong>_**promise**_** you, they will get better. It will get a lot better. The first few chapters won't have that much drama in them, but as the story goes on it will start to unfold. One last thing: This isn't a story only about Clare, this is also gonna be about Lilly and her times at Degrassi. I lied, this is the last thing: The story starts at the end of the summer, right before Clare's junior year. And Lilly won't be in the first few chapters. **_

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><p>I sat in my room, in the dark, with my laptop open. I was cleaning out my files. It was about time. My hard drive was over flowing. I had all these random writings that I never finished, old homework assignments that I didn't need, and far too many blurry photos that were filling up my memory. If I didn't clean my hard drive out soon, my computer space would probably have been filled.<p>

It took me a while to get through all my word documents, and it was going to take me even longer to go through the photos. I just had so many of them. Why had I taken so many photos in the last four months? It's not like there was much to take pictures of. Yes, I had gotten a new boyfriend, and I reconnected with Alli, but I never took so many pictures in my life. If anything, I should have taken fewer photos than normal. I didn't hang out with as many people after Spring Break, and by that I mean, Adam and Eli. There was also less things to take pictures of during the summer. I love taking photos in Spring, and not as much Summer. Everything seems so fresh and new in Spring.

I began looking through my photos, one by one, deleting the ones that were blurry, or came out really badly. After looking through over 400 photos, I got to older ones. From before Alli had returned to Degrassi. The first one was a picture of me and Adam. I had taken one day, just for the fun of it. We were at the church, and we were leaning against one of the walls. It wasn't anything special, just us two, smiling at the camera. But I loved that picture.

I went through a few more pictures, mostly of me and Adam, or of just random things I saw that I thought would make a good picture, but I stopped at one that caught my eye. It was at the church. Adam had taken it. Eli was standing in the middle of the church, and he had me slung over his shoulder. A genuine smile plastered on both our faces. Eli was wearing his trademark skinny jeans and Dead Hand t-shirt. I was wearing skinny jeans, and a floral blouse. It was a perfect picture. The way Eli was laughing, and the way I hanging over his shoulder, yelling at him to put me down, while laughing my head off. Then there was the way the wind blew Eli's bangs out of his face. And the way streaks of sunlight peeked through the trees. And most of all, the sparkle in Eli's eyes. They were glowing. You could see how happy he was, just by looking at his eyes and the way they shined, it was just beautiful. It was the perfect photo.

A numbness filled my body, the only place I could feel was my chest. It started as an ache that slowly grew more painful, then became a stabbing sensation. It had been so long since Eli and I had broken up, but it still hurt like it had happened yesterday. To this day, I still don't know why it hurt so much. Eli had manipulated me, and scared me. He was so unpredictable. I should have been relieved to be out a relationship with him. But I wasn't. I had every reason to bounce back from that break up faster than the speed of light. Soon after Spring Break, an old friend, Jake, returned to Degrassi and we soon got together. With Alli back, things could have been like they were before Eli was in my life. My life was finally beginning to stabilize. No mysterious boyfriend with a bunch of surprises, or scary past. My parent's divorce was finally becoming okay with me. My best friend was here to stay. Everything was going great, so why did everything feel so wrong?

I just stared at the photo. I was so happy then. How? Nothing was going right for me then. The pain in my chest continued to grow. It grew to he point where I almost couldn't breathe. I couldn't look at the photo any longer. I clicked to the next picture. It was another picture of Eli. It was of him laughing. It was taken the same day as the other photo. The pain began to radiate, as a knot formed in my stomach. I couldn't handle it. The pain was unbearable. My eyes filled with tears, and I closed my laptop, as sobs escaped form my throat. It hurt that I was still crying over Eli after 4 months. It hurt that I didn't know why I was crying over him. It hurt that I was still crying over Eli, despite me having a boyfriend. It hurt that I couldn't stop crying. Everything hurts.

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><p><strong>I hope you guys liked it! Leave me a review if you want. I won't force you to. <strong>

**~Andy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a quick author's note that I forgot to mention last time: This may be rated M later on, but it's really a matter of opinion on how you feel on certain topics. But it is going to turn into a boarder line-M story later on. This chapter is kind of long sorry. And I'm probably gonna be doing these little Author's Notes at the beginning. Just to let you know. Anyways, enjoy this chapter! And thank you for the nice reviews I got last time. :D**

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><p>Chapter 2:<p>

I sat in the living room a few days later. I was on Twitter, and I was looking through my dash. Everyone from school was talking about how they were so excited to see all their friends again, but they didn't want to go to school. I don't know how I felt about going back to school. The only people I'd probably hang out with was Alli and Jake, so it wasn't going to be much of a difference once school started, because I had spent so much time with them over the summer, and I knew that going back to school would only mean that I would face Eli again. After my episode a few days before, I didn't know how seeing Eli would make me feel. Would it hurt more? Would it make me feel better seeing him happy again? I didn't know.

My mom came through the door with her boyfriend. They started dating not too long after my parents announced their divorce. Well, she told me about it soon after her divorce, it may have happened before it, I didn't know, and in all honestly, I didn't want to know. His name was John. He wasn't awful, even though I didn't feel like that for a long time. At that point, I was beginning to finally warm up to him, but that didn't mean I particularly liked him. I just accepted the fact that he cared for my mom and he made her happy, so I let her have her fun. I doubted that they would ever really turn into anything. I always assumed it was one of those "I don't remember how to be single" loves.

"Hi, Clare," my mother said with a smile.

"Hey, mom," I replied.

"How was your day?"

"It was fine," I paused for half of a moment. "Do you mind if I hang out with Alli tonight?" I asked. She hung her purse on the coat rack.

"Not tonight, John is staying over for dinner, and it would be nice if you stayed," she explained. I was kind of upset. I was supposed to go with Alli to find the perfect dress for her cousin's wedding, but I guess it could wait a few days. I wanted to get out of the house. It was becoming uncomfortable after being there for almost a week.

"Okay," I said. I didn't really want to fight it. I knew that she would win the battle, and I didn't want to fight with her. We went through enough turbulence while she was divorcing my dad, and I didn't want to cause any more. We made a point to avoid fighting now. It was nice, I'll admit. The air was always calm in the house, no tension or anything, just because we stopped fighting. This got us closer together too.

I went back to my computer screen, and continued to go through the twitter posts. After looking through some posts I could care less about, I saw Adam's latest post. "With RealEli at the Dot. Fun times bro." An ache began to set in again. After Eli and I broke up, Adam and I began to drift apart. He had always been closer to Eli, and I guess that took a toll on our friendship after Eli and I broke up. I just stared at the post. The ache set in deeper and slowly became more painful. I had to stop this in its tracks. I didn't want to hurt, I wanted to be happy, so I went to a different website. I went to the Forever 21 website, and signed on to skype. I was going to help Alli find that dress, even if it was over the Internet.

We sat at the dinner table; me, on one side, my mom in the middle, and John was facing me. The air was quiet and still, as we ate silently. It was awkward, as if they were hiding something. My mother put her utensils down, and looked at me.

"Clare, there is something we need to tell you," she spoke. I wasn't predicting anything; I didn't know what to think.

"What is it?" I ask, trying to break the silence.

"John and I…" she stopped talking for a moment, as if she was trying to find the right words to speak, "We are engaged." My eyes went wide.

"What?" I ask, in shock, knowing they aren't joking, but wishing it wasn't true.

"It happened a few days ago," she said. I couldn't speak. I tried to say something, but I couldn't figure out what to say.

"John and Lilly will move here next week, and she will start the school year with you at Degrassi."

"Are you kidding me?" I burst. She jumped slightly when I yelled. I stood up from my chair. "You've been divorced for less than a _year_, and you are already ready to start a new family?" I felt bad for yelling, but I needed to, I needed to get my anger out. Screw trying not to fight with my mom.

"Clare, calm down," she said.

"No." I said. I turned to John, "I'm not going to call you Dad," I said, attitude seeping through my pores. I turned around and stormed up to my bedroom, leaving my mom and John sitting at the table alone.

Once I got to my room, I shoved my head into my pillow, and began to cry. I just had to let everything out. My father was being replaced, and so was my sister. I was going to get a new family in a week, and I didn't want a new family. I still wished I had my old family.

After about 5 minutes, I had stopped crying, and I decided that I wasn't going to cry over this. It wasn't worth the tears. I definitely would be angry, and stay angry, but I wouldn't cry over it. I picked up my phone and flipped it open. I clicked my contacts open and searched Eli's name, out of habit. I almost hit send, when I realized what I was doing wrong. I had been so used to calling with my family problems, that now that I have them again, I immediately want to call Eli. I find Alli in my phone, and I text her. "Change of plans. Can I still meet you at the mall?"

"Yup. See you in ten?" she replies.

"Yeah," I typed, then hit send. I grabbed my purse, and made sure that I had my wallet, and crawled out the window. Thank God for the tree outside my window. I went unnoticed down the tree. I took my bike from the driveway, and began biking. I reached the mall about ten minutes later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's been a while. Fanfiction has been giving me 50 jillion issues. Hope you like it :)**

Clare: I sat in my room, laying stomach down on my bed, reading a book. John was moving in today with my future stepsister. I'd never met her, but I knew a lot about her; my mother had been gushing about how amazing his daughter was, saying that we would be great friends. From what I heard, the only thing that she had in common with me, was the fact that she was smart, and she liked writing. She had won an award for a short story she wrote last year. That's not what bothered me about her, I mean, my grades were probably just as good as hers, if not better. What bothered me was that she was the perfect teenager. I saw a picture of her once. Her hair was brown, with some highlights, natural of course. Her skin had the slightest tan to it and she had gorgeous brown eyes. She was in such good shape, strong arms and perfect legs, with a flat stomach. Her boobs weren't large, but they weren't too small. Then there was her athleticism: She was a three-sport athlete (Hockey, swimming and cheerleading). I'll admit, I was jealous of her. But I was also very pissed at her. She was invading my life. She was going to come to Degrassi, and be all perfect, and I bet she will be like Jenna and steal my boyfriend.

There was a knock on my door, and it opened, as my mother walked into my room.

"Clare?" she said, as she walked next to me, and sat on my bed.

"What?" I said, rolling my eyes, staring at my book, but not reading any of the words.

"John and Lilly are going to be here any minute," she told me.

"What's your point?" I spat; my voice saturated with attitude.

"You have to come down stairs."

"Whatever," I mumbled, continuing to read.

"Clare, I know you are unhappy about this, but you have to accept this."

"Unhappy?" I burst, finally looking up at her, "I was unhappy when you started dating John, I was unhappy when you insisted on my meeting him. I was unhappy when you two started getting serious. I was unhappy when he started having dinner here once a week. I was unhappy when you would disappear with him twice a week to go out for dinner. Now? Now, I'm furious."

"You can be as angry as you want, I'm still marrying him," she said, her voice lined with anger.

"So I don't even get a say in any of this? You didn't even ask me if I was okay with this," I said, angrily while sitting up.

"Not everything can be about you, Clare," she said in a calm tone, but I could tell she was holding her anger back.

"This is my life that's changing too, you know."

"I know, Clare, but sometimes, I have to do what makes me happy," she told me, "And how do you think Lilly feels? She has to pick up her life and move."

"Whatever," I said, standing up from my bed. I leaned to the floor and picked up my purse. As I walked out, my mother called behind me, "Where are you going?"

"To see Jake," I said, running out of my house, without looking back at her.

I biked to Jake's house, and knocked on the door. He answered.

"Clare, what are you doing here?" he asked, surprised.

"I couldn't stand being around my mom right now. I just needed a friend," I explained, tears ready to fall from my eyes.

"Come on in," he said, ushering me inside his house. His dog, Faith, came up to me, and jumped up onto me, her paws barely reaching my mid thigh. Her tail was wagging wildly as her tongue hung out of her mouth. I giggled a little, as a scratched her head.

"Okay, Faith, get down. You can't steal my girlfriend form me," Jake said, gently pulling his dog off me. We walked to his room. He closed the door behind him as we entered his room. I sat on his bed, and he sat next to me. I pulled the comforter over our legs. He placed his arm around me, and pulled me close to him. I rested my head comfortably on his chest.

"So, tell me, what is going on with your mom?" he asked, his voice soft, smooth and loving.

"They're moving in today, and I just can't deal with it. It's like they are getting divorced all over again," I said, with tears again ready to fall out. I know I said that I wouldn't cry over it, but I couldn't help it right now. Jake kissed the top of my head.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"My family is falling apart all over again. I don't think I can handle going through it again," I explained.

"It's gonna be okay," he said, "You can fight through it."

"Maybe," I said. I didn't believe what he said, but I wanted him to at least think we was helping me.

"What are you so worried about?" he asked, looking down at me.

"I don't know. I don't really think I'm worried about anything," I said.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm just not ready to have a new family."

"I thought you said that you finally coming to terms with the divorce?" he questioned.

"I was. But that just means I was coming to terms with the fact my parents were no longer together, not that I was okay with a new family."

"I see," he commented. I sighed.

"It'll work itself out," he said.

"I hope so," I said back. He wasn't really helping, but it was the best thing I could get.

**So, that's it. Next chapter will be up faster than this one was. I already have it written, I just need to edit it. Anyways, review. Please? :D**

**~Andy**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

I got home that night from Jake's house at 9. I went straight up to my room, without saying anything to anyone. Once I go to my room, I closed my door behind me and threw my purse on the ground. The door opened behind me. I turned around to see my mother in the doorway. Her arms were crossed on her chest, and her face was pure anger. I knew I was in trouble. I didn't care.

"You leave, don't answer your phone, and you don't even have the decency to come for dinner?" she scowled.

"You didn't have the decency to even ask me if I was okay with you getting remarried," I spat back. She sighed angrily.

"Clare, I don't want to deal with your rebellious attitude again. You are going to go down stairs, and introduce yourself to Lilly," she said, her voice seeping with anger.

"No," I said.

"If you don't go downstairs right now, you are grounded," she demanded.

"Oooh! Scary!" I remarked, sarcastically.

"Clare Diana Edwards! Go!" she demanded again.

"No."

"Give me your phone," she commanded me, holding her hand out.

"Fine," I said, with a look, not really caring. I walked over to my purse and I pulled out my phone. I walk over to her, and placed it in her hand. She was taken back by me being so compliant with my phone being taken away.

"Now, go down stairs," she said forcefully. I sighed angrily, and left the room to go down stairs. I didn't want her nagging me all night. When I got down stairs, I saw a girl sitting on the couch, playing with an iPhone 4. I immediately knew who it was. Lilly. I plopped down next to her, my arms folded across my chest, and my face plastered with a bitter glare.

"You must be Clare," she said, placing the phone next to her.

"Yup," I said, bitterly, popping the "P" sound.

"It's nice to meet you, I guess," she said with a shrug. I'm assuming she didn't know what to say. I turned my head to look at her.

"Please don't try to make me your 'bff' because quite frankly, I don't want you here, nor do I want you at my school, or in my life for that matter," I said. She didn't know what to say. She just looked at me and said "Okay then," awkwardly.

"At school, on Monday," I said, "pretend you don't know me, please." I then went back up to my room.


	5. Chapter 5

**I know it's been a while, but I got really busy. Finals are starting up. Hopefully you guys can forgive me :) I know this is really long. But it's finally the first day of school! YAY! **

John and Lilly moved in on a Thursday, and school began that Monday. My mom drove Lilly and I to school, to this day, I still find that the most awkward car drive I've ever been on. My mom was trying to make small talk, which she always sucked at. I was still mad at her, and Lilly was trying to be nice to my mom, and joining in on the small talk, which she seemed bad at too. So it was full of awkwardness.

"Have a nice day, girls," my mother said with a smile, when it was finally time to get out of the car. I rolled my eyes after she spoke. I was relieved to be free of the awkwardness.

"Thanks, you too," Lilly said shyly and awkwardly. We walked towards the school.

"Clare!" I heard from behind me. I turned around and saw Alli. She ran up to me, and we hugged. Yes, we saw each other two days earlier, but we hadn't seen each other in school since June, and we were excited.

"What's your first class?" I asked after we separated.

"Math. You?"

"Physics," I answered. I frowned, and she made a face.

"Boo! Anyways, I better get going. I have to meet up with some other people. See you at lunch?" she said.

"I hope so," I replied with a smile.

"Good," she said, giving me another hug, then walking away. I made my way to my locker. As I turned the dial on my lock, Eli walked over to his locker, only three down from mine, and began putting in his combo. I finished putting in my own combo, and opened my locker. I turned my attention back at Eli, and allowed myself to look at him more closely. The ache began again as I watched him. He took binders from his backpack and placed them into his locker. He seemed different some how. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I could tell something about him had changed, drastically. It was almost as if I was looking at some one else.

He closed his locker, and noticed me there, whether or not he knew that I was staring at him, I didn't know.

"Hey, Clare," he said, with a half smile, which I returned. Again, I could tell something was different, but I couldn't tell what it was. He seemed… happy.

"Hi, Eli," I replied.

"How was your summer?" he asked casually, as if everything between us had never happened, like we were just mutual acquaintances. I hid half of myself behind my locker door, as if trying to avoid him.

"It was fine, I guess. My mom's engaged."

"I'm sorry," he said, sincerely, "I know how hard that must be for you." I shrugged.

"How about you? How was your summer? You seem good."

"I am good," he said, with a smile. "I've been getting help, seeing a therapist regularly."

"That's good." I could tell that it was helping. He seemed so carefree and relaxed. Serenity was seeping out of his pores. The bell rang.

"I have to get to class," he said, "I'll see you around, Clare." He nudged me lightly in the arm as he walked past me. It wasn't until he walked away that I realized how much my chest was aching and that I was holding my breath. I took a few deep breaths, and began to walk to my first class. I stumbled on my first few steps. I was in shock. This was a new Eli that I just saw. An Eli that I only saw a few times. It was my favorite Eli. I knew that he was finally gonna be okay. I knew that he was doing just fine with out me. I knew that he would make it. This made me feel better. But what made me feel worse was the fact that he still made my chest ache.

Lilly

I walked up the stairs to my new school. Clare was already ditching me, not that I was surprised. I knew she was going to do that. She'd been avoiding me ever since I moved in. It wasn't much of a secret that she hated me. And at that point, I hadn't decided if it bothered me yet.

I stood at the bottom of the school's stoop. I looked up at the sign that read "Degrassi Community School," and let out a sigh. A new life, a new start, I thought to myself. It was exactly what I needed. No one, except Clare, knew me here. No one knew my past. No one knew where I came from. A blank slate, and I could write whatever I wanted on it.

I pulled my schedule from my purse, and looked at it. "Period 1: Public Speaking- Waltin, Charles Room 203" I bit my lip. I had no idea where to find that. I inhaled a deep breath out of frustration, and was about to release it in the form of a sigh, when I felt some one crash into me. I looked to my right to see I tall guy, maybe 5' 10'' with dark, short hair. He held a football in his hands.

"Sorry about that," he said, with smile, as he looked my up and down quickly. Then he walked away, tossing the football to his friend, as if he hadn't almost made me fall on the stairs. Another kid came up to me shortly after the first left. His hair was longer than the previous guy's and he was shorter. Not by much, though.

"Sorry about my brother, he can be an ass sometimes," he said.

"It's fine," I said.

"Are you new?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, I just moved here."

"Cool. I'm Adam," he said, holding has hand out for me to shake it.

"Lilly," I replied, shaking his hand.

"I gotta go, I'll see you around," he said, with a kind smile, "It was nice meeting you."

"You too," I responded, waving as he walked away and disappeared into the school.

Eli:

New school year: new Eli. I began going to see a therapist regularly, and really opened up. It was so great. I felt so free. There was nothing that bothered me anymore. I wasn't this happy, for this long, since before Julia. It was such an uplifting feeling. I'm not saying I'm over Clare, but I learned over the summer that I'm able to live without her, and slowly I'm getting over her… I think. I've also gotten really good about my hoarding. Occasionally I will refuse to throw something out, but I've gotten increasingly better about it. My room cleaning has been tedious, just because I always hated cleaning, but I am working at making my room sparkling. It's a long slow process, but I'm determined to get it done.

Halfway through the summer, my parents were finally convinced that they could trust me again with a car. I got a small black car, it was no Morty, but it wasn't awful. It's kinda classy, but badass at the same time. Like I said, it was not Morty. I don't think any car could fit me like Morty, but this car was pretty good.

I closed the door to my car, after getting out of it. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, and began walking towards the school. I'll admit, I was a little nervous. The only reason I survived this summer was because I didn't see Clare or anyone else this summer, except Adam. What if I saw Clare, then relapsed or something? It may sound irrational, but if you think about it, it's a legitimate thing to be worried about. I mean, a lot of strange stuff has set me off before. As I walked towards the school, I walked past the couples making lovey reunions, and past the friends hugging in joy. The sound of chatter and giggling filled my ears as I open the front door of the school. I walked through the halls; there was no sight of Adam. I reached my locker, and began putting in my combination. I finished my combination, and opened my locker; it was a little jammed, so I had to pull it a bit. I looked inside my empty locker and I opened my backpack and began placing binders into my locker neatly. I was going to start this year organized, and I planned to finish it that way. As I closed my locker, I turned to begin walking to my class. Then I saw Clare, at her locker.

"Hey Clare," I said. I surprised I was able to keep my composure.

"Hi, Eli," she responded quietly. She tried to keep hidden behind the door of her locker. Once she spoke, my knees almost buckled under me. I hadn't realized how much I missed the sound of her soft voice, until now.

"How was your summer?" I asked, trying to make small talk. I tried to keep my relaxed state of mind. I slowed my breathing, trying to make my self seem as calm as possible. I hoped that I was being successful.

"It was fine, I guess. My mom's engaged," she told me. Her voice was lined with sadness and her face was flooded with pain.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying to comfort her, "I know how hard that must be for you." She shrugged. "How about you? How was your summer? You seem good," she said.

"I am good," I said, smiling. I was surprised that I haven't fallen to the ground yet. I've literally had my knees locked so that they wouldn't buckle. "I've been getting help, seeing a therapist regularly."

"That's good," she said. We heard the bell ring through the halls.

"I have to get to class. I'll see you around, Clare," I said, nudging her arm as I walked away lightly, just as a friendly gesture. I walked down the hall for a few seconds, and made a turn into another hallway. My class was right there, so I allowed myself to break. My chest was burning. I gripped a water fountain, and unlocked my knees. I almost fell over. I had to catch my breath and my heart rate was high. Adam walked past me in the halls. I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards me.

"Dude, are you okay?" Adam asked, "You look awful."

"I'm still in love with Clare," I said, breathlessly. It was as if I had an asthma attack.

"I thought you were getting over her?" he questioned.

"I know, but it's easy to get over someone when you don't see them. And I…" I paused for a slight second, "I just saw Clare."

"Sorry, man, that's rough," he said. I took a few more breaths, and finally began to recompose myself.

"Let's go to class," I said after a minute. We began walking to class, since we had first period together.

"How's your first day going so far?" I asked.

"Fine, I met a new girl, that's about it," he said.

"Is she cute?" I asked.

"I guess. She doesn't really seem like my type," he explained.

"What's your type?" I questioned.

"I don't know. She just seems like she is too…" he paused to try and find the right word to say, "I don't know. She just didn't seem like the girl to be a girlfriend, more of a friend. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I get it."

"You can have her, if you want," he told me.

"I think I'll pass. But thanks for the offer," I said with a chuckle. We reach the classroom and we take seats next to each other, his next to the window. "So, what is this girl's name?" I asked.

"Lilly." I shrugged, "Nice name," I commented.

"Yeah," he agreed. Adam perked up, and stared at the door. I turned to see what he was looking at. It was a girl with long brown hair that fell halfway down her back; she was kind of on the short side, from what I could tell. But who cares about height? I'm the shortest dude around.

"That's the girl," Adam whispered.

"Interesting," I commented. She was looking around the room awkwardly, trying to figure out which seat she could take.

"Lilly!" Adam called to her; she whipped her head towards us. Adam waved for her to come over to us. She began walking towards us, and when she reached us, Adam said, "You can sit with us," motioning to the two open seats in front of it. She sat in the on in front of Adam, likely because she knew Adam, and not me.

"I'm Eli," I said.

"Lilly. Nice to meet you," she said. Her voice was calm and kind.

"So, why did you move here?" Adam asks, trying his best to be friendly, but he wasn't very good at small talk.

"My dad got engaged, and his new fiancé lives here and I didn't want to make her and her daughter move, so I did," she explained.

"Does you step-sister go to Degrassi?" I asked, just out of curiosity. She hesitated. "No. She is coming up next year as a freshman."

"Well," I said, "Welcome to Degrassi." She smiled. "Thanks." The teacher went up to the front of the room. He wrote his name on the white board in large letters. "Mr. Waltin"

"Welcome to public speaking," he said. As the teacher spoke about the class, I could already tell this was going to be a long semester.

**Well, let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it. Review, please? I asked nicely. :)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

Clare: First period had just ended. Second period was French. I walked into the classroom, and took a seat in the middle of the room. I sat there awkwardly for a few moments because I was one of the first people in the room. People slowly began to trickle in, but I paid no attention to them.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I heard a familiar voice say to me. I straightened myself in my chair, and looked up to see Adam, motioning to the seat next to mine.

"Sure," I said, with a half smile. He sat down.

"How was your summer?" he asked.

"It started out okay. Then my mom got engaged."

"That sucks. Is the guy bringing you any fake siblings?" On the inside, I smiled; he knew how to make me feel better.

"Yeah, a step-sister. She's coming to Degrassi," I explained bitterly.

"I'm sorry. Is she really that awful?" he asked.

"No. That's what makes her so awful. She's all athletic and talented and pretty," I explained, my face filled with disgust.

"How old is 'Stinky-sister'?"

"Sixteen."

"I see," he said. I was grateful that he didn't want to go into too much detail about her.

"Enough about that. How was your summer?" I asked.

"It was good. I kinda wish we hung out more though. Sorry."

"It's fine. Eli needed you more than I did."

"No, it's not, Clare," he said, with a sigh, "You needed a friend when your mom got engaged, and I wasn't there."

"Seriously, Adam, it's fine." The bell rang again, signifying that class was beginning and the teacher began speaking in French about the year to come.

The day dragged on slowly. After fifth period, I saw Adam in the hallway; I casually waved to him, as he met up with Eli. But guess who was with Eli? Lilly. They were laughing about something. They both greeted Adam. I didn't want Adam to usher me over, so I walked away quickly to English before he got the chance.

I hurried into the familiar classroom. I had Ms. Dawes again this year. I was glad; she was one of my favorite teachers at Degrassi. I sat in the same seat that I usually took last year. I began to stare into blank space, as memories from last year's English class flooded my brain. I remembered the one time Adam sat behind me; he threw tiny wads of paper at me all class. I remembered how Eli would tickle my back in the middle of class. I also remembered all the times that we would pass stupid notes to each other that had smart-ass remarks written on them. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard, "Hey Clare," from behind me. I looked up to see Adam again. I smiled. Then I realized he was with Eli.

"Hey, guys!" I said. Adam took a seat in front of me, while Eli too the one next to me.

"It's a mistfit reunion!" Adam sang, jokingly. We all smiled. "Why do we always end up in the same English class?" he asked.

"It's fate," I joked. Then came an awkward silence.

"Hey, Clare," Eli spoke, "There is this girl in mine and Adam's Public Speaking class. She just moved here because her dad was getting remarried. Maybe you should hang out with her. It might be nice to have a friend who knows what you are going through." I knew he was talking about Lilly.

"I think I'm good, but thanks anyways," I said, with a fake smile. Ms. Dawes walked in to the room, and saw us.

"Ah… the Three Musketeers are reunited again," she said with a smile. "Good to have you three back." The late bell rang, and Ms. Dawes went up to the front of the classroom and introduced herself.

"Hello everyone! I'm Ms. Dawes, for those of you who don't know me. A few of you had me last year. Welcome to grade 12, advanced English. I'm excited to have you all this year." As she spoke, Eli and I exchanged a glance. It was a slight smile, nothing special. But it still made my chest ache again. I looked down at my desk, and bit the inside of my lip hard to try and avoid the pain.

Eli: Clare and I exchanged a glance while Ms. Dawes spoke. A pain radiated rapidly through my body. The way she looked. It broke my heart on so many levels. She looked like she was in so much pain. I've seen that look in her eyes before. Her home life was really taking a toll on her again. She gave me a soft smile, but I could tell how much pain it was hiding. Not only was the look in her eyes heard breaking. But the exchange in itself was heart breaking to me. Every time I saw her I just wanted to grab her and kiss her. But I know I could never be with Clare again.

She looked so beautiful. The way her messy curls fell in the perfect way. Her bangs flowed in such a way that they brought out her eyes. She didn't wear a lot of make-up, but she was still flawless. It was almost unbearable to look at her. She was too damn beautiful, and I knew I couldn't have her.

The pain spread from my chest, and straight to my head. The headache pounded, as my entire body began to feel pain. Then, started numbness, starting in my chest, and then going to the rest of my body. I couldn't move my arms and legs. I was frozen, but I wanted to run. I wanted to run out of the classroom, then run out of the school, then keep running until I reached the comfort of my home. I wanted to go back to summer vacation, when it was just me and Adam, and nothing to make me scared, or in pain. I told myself that I wanted to go back to summer vacation when nothing hurt. But I was lying to myself. I was happy this summer, but everything hurt. I wanted to turn back time, and go back to the time when Clare and I were still in love, when everything was okay. When we would I the back of Morty, laying, cuddled together, talking about nothing in particular, laughing and smiling. That is the time when nothing hurt, even though everything should have.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, I know I'm kind of slow to update, but I've been busy. Hopefully my schedule will free up soon, now that my swim practices are in the morning. **

Clare: Two weeks after school started, I still wasn't on good terms with anything at home. Adam and I talked a few times, not much though. Jake was still the sweet, kindhearted boyfriend. I still acted as if Lilly didn't exist. I also found out that she told everyone that her future step-sister was an eighth grader, and not me, which was good, and apparently Adam still hasn't made the connection, which was perfect. Then there was Eli, I tried to avoid contact with him at all costs. I didn't want Jake to see us, and think I was still on love with him, which I wasn't. My mother was neck deep in work and wedding planning, so she paid little attention to me. Every time she tried to get me involved in any of it though, I just walked away with out saying a word. Then she would sigh in anger and annoyance.

It was awkward in our household, especially at mealtime. My mom or John would try and start a conversation, and if a question was directed at me, I just looked at them for a moment, and then went back to looking at my plate, eating my food in silence. It really pissed my mom off. Soon, it became a little game for me to find new ways to annoy my mom. It may sound bitchy, but it was fun.

Lilly: I had been at Degrassi for two weeks so far. Clare was being awful to me. And I didn't blame her. I just completely invaded her life. I made a few friends so far. This guy named Adam, and his friend named Eli. They called themselves "The Misfits." It fit them. Eli was this dark, kind of mysterious guy. He used to drive a hearse. Yes, a hearse. It was totaled in an accident, though. Then there was Adam. He seemed pretty normal, but there was something different about him. I couldn't pin point it, though.

As far as sports went for me at Degrassi, I wasn't planning on trying out for the power squad here. As much as I loved it, I had to make a choice, cheer or swimming. I chose swimming. The team is pretty good. Swimming was officially my fall sport. I couldn't wait until winter though. Once Swimming was over, the Hockey season started. Hockey was my number one sport. I trained year round for the four-month season that lasted form December to March.

I sat in my Public Speaking class, with Adam and Eli one day. Adam was looking through an SAT prep book. His scrunched his eyebrows together.

"Eli?" he asked, his eyes still fixed on the book.

"Yeah?"

"Who did you have to tutor you in the SATs?" Adam asked, and then looked up.

"I didn't get a tutor. I didn't need one," Eli said, with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Damn it, you suck," he said, then let out a heavy sigh.

"Why don't you just have Eli tutor you if he's so amazing?" I asked, jokingly.

"He's an awful tutor. We tried this last year when I needed help with Math," Adam explained.

"Oh… Well, if you need a tutor, I could help you," I offered.

"No offense, but are you sure you're qualified?" Eli questioned.

"College level math and English classes," I said.

"You need a master's degree in math to get this guy to understand it," Eli joked.

"I'm sure I could figure something out, plus, I've tutored people a lot dumber than Adam," I said. Adam nodded, with a look in his face that I couldn't read. After a moment he spoke again.

"You're hired," He said. I smiled.

**I know it's short, and not very good, but bear with me. Anyways, I have some questions that I want you to answer:**

**1) Do you think Lilly should end up in anyone in the story? If so, who  
>2) What do you think will happen with Clare? And by that I mean: How do you think she will react to the stress in her life?<br>3) What else do you want to see?  
>4) What diddidn't you like in this and previous chapters? I'd love to know. **

**Anyways, thanks for reading. **

**~Andy**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone! How are you doing? Here is the next chapter!**

Lilly: Adam and I had our first study session on a Wednesday. We decided to go to his house after school. He tried to tell me that my house might be better, but I figured it would be best to keep him as far away from my place as possible, for a lot of different reasons. So, with some convincing, he agreed to let me tutor him at his place.

When we got to his house, we took a seat at his kitchen table. We placed his SAT prep books on the table, then I reached into my backpack and pulled out a Tupperware container. I placed it on the table after I pealed the lid off.

"What are those?" Adam asked, with a slightly disturbed look on his face.

"Cookies," I said bluntly.

"They don't look like cookies," he remarked.

"Yeah, I used the wrong butter for this batch. We didn't have any margarine. But, they are still some of the best cookies you will ever eat," I explained.

"What kind of cookies are they?" He asked.

"Chocolate-chip Peppermint." He raised his eyebrows, and took one from the box. He bit a chunk out of one of them.

"As gross as they look, you're right, these are the best cookies I've ever eaten." I smiled in content.

"If you like those, then you should try my chocolate coffee toffee cookies," I told him.

"Why did you make cookies?" he asked me curiously.

"Peppermint releases a chemical that helps you concentrate," I explained to him. He shrugged and said, "Interesting."

"We need to start studying," I said, opening one of the books.

For the first hour, we just went over a few parts of the book, not really anything hard. Then we heard the front door opening.

"Be prepared for an interrogation," Adam said to me, quietly.

"Why?" I questioned.

"My mom can be a bit protective, it sometimes makes her come off as a bitch, but her intentions are good," he explained. I nodded in understanding. We continued to work on the problem, so that when his mom did come in, it didn't seem like we were goofing off. As I was explaining to him the algebra of the problem to him, his mother walked into the room.

"Adam, who's this?" she asked, with a stern, and fairly intimidating look on her face.

"This is my SAT tutor," he explained. I stood up.

"Hi, I'm Lilly," I said, and put my hand out for her to shake it. She gave me a look, and ignored my hand. I awkwardly placed my hand at my side, and sat back down.

"What's with the cookies?" she questioned.

"Peppermint releases a chemical that is said to improve concentration." She gave me an unconvinced looked.

"How old are you?" she asked. She had an extremely intimidating look in her eye.

"I'm… um… 16. Grade 11."

"Are you sure you're qualified to be a tutor?" she asks in a sort of accusing way.

"I'm in college level math… and English," I stuttered.

"Hmm," is all I heard from her before she walked away. Adam and I just sat there in silence for a bit, until he spoke.

"That went better than I thought it would," he said, awkwardly and slowly.

"Seriously?" I asked, fairly shocked, but trying to hide it.

"Yeah. She wasn't that bad, compared to some people."

"Well, that's good," I said, wondering if that was really better than how she spoke to most people.

"Trust me, it is good."

"Okay, let's get back to work," I said. I had a feeling if I got on his mom's bad side, it would be the end of me.

"Boo," he complained, holding out the "O." I rolled my eyes, and looked at the book to find a new problem for us to do.

**I hope you liked this! If you did, give me a review. Also, if you'd like, go check out some of my other stories! Anyways, enjoy the rest of you day! **

**~Andy!**


	9. Chapter 9

**This is a really long chapter, I know. But I'm going to be away for the next two weeks or so, so I'm not sure when I will be able to post again. I hope you like this chapter, despite it being long. **

Clare: You remember how Adam, Eli and I were in the same English class? I bet you thought we were going to become best friends again, right? And then everything was going to turn out well, because I had my friends back and what not? Well, I thought so too. But I was wrong. Adam and Eli became editing partners. I was paired with Samantha Trutler. We were required to sit with our partners, so I was sitting on the opposite side of the room from the two of them. We barely talked. The only time we spoke was during a class discussion, and even then, it was a few sentences about a book. About a month and a half into the school year, I knew that I lost my two best friends for good. It was awful. To make matters worse, my relationship with Jake was still off. Every time I tried to talk to Alli about it, she tried to convince me that I was just being paranoid, or say something about Jake being "a waaaaaay better boyfriend than Eli." It annoyed me. She knew nothing about my relationship with Eli. She wasn't there to see how wonderful our relationship was before it went down hill. Then there was my family. I was still fighting with my mom. We were just so awful to each other. From all of this, I somehow ended up in a depression. I don't know when my first depression symptoms first started, but they were getting bad pretty quickly. I felt trapped in my own life.

I distinctively remember a day, towards the beginning of November, so we were about two months into school, when all of this for some reason exploded in my life, and I made a big mistake. It started when I first woke up. My throat burned dry, as if I had been sobbing in my sleep. I got out of my bed, and walked over to my mirror, and starred at the stranger looking back at me. Her skin was pale and blotchy, as if she was upset all the time. She was thin, as if she wasn't eating much. Her lips were dry and chapped, and I bet if she spoke, her voice would be raspy, as if she spent the entire night sobbing. And her eyes, her eyes, they were bright red, as if she had cried through the night. They were full of pain. I stared at her for forever, wishing this stranger wasn't me.

When I got to school, I was at my locker, making sure I had everything for the day. I felt someone poke my sides, which was, and still is, one of my biggest pet peeves. I turned around and saw Jake.

"Hey cutie!" he said to me, with a smile spread across his face.

"Hi, Jake," I responded, emotionlessly and blankly.

"I missed you," he stated, expecting me to say it back. He snaked his arms around me, pulling me towards him.

"I missed you too," I forced out of my vocal chords. I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Clare-bear?" I hated when he called me that, "you okay?"

"Kinda, I'm just stressed. I got into another fight with my mom last night." Jake unwraps his arms from around me, and looks at me with annoyance.

"Really, Clare?" he asked.

"What?"

"It's been, what? Two months? I think it's time you got over the fact that your mom is getting remarried," he said calmly, but his voice was lined with traces of annoyance.

"It's not just about my mom getting married, Jake," I explained, looking with my eyes in every other direction.

"Still, Clare, it's time to move on. I want the happy Clare back." I smiled slightly, and walked away. He didn't understand, and he wasn't trying to. As I walked away, I tried to picture the conversation if I had been having it with Eli.

"_Hey, Clare," he would have said when I was at my locker._

"_Hi," I would have responded, looking at him momentarily, then going back to my locker. He would have immediately noticed something was wrong, so he would have gently turned me around to look at him._

"_Is it your mom again?" he would ask, not needing to ask if it was something else._

"_We got into another fight last night," I would respond. He would give me a small, reassuring half smile, and then say, "I'm sorry." With those two words, the weight of the world would get lifted off my shoulders. I would be happy, but I'd shrug it off, and say "It's fine," while trying to seem less okay than I actually was._

"_You wanna come over tonight for dinner? Get away for a little?" he'd ask. I'd smile, and politely accept, my body flowing with relief. _

Whether Eli and I were together or not, if we were actually friends right now, that is exactly what he would probably do. Me thinking this doesn't mean that I'm I love with him, it just simple meant that I needed him as a friend, but we couldn't be friends like we used to be.

While walking to my class I ran into Alli.

"Hey, Clare!" she exclaimed, with a smile spread across her face. Her smile quickly faded. "What's wrong?"

"Stressful day. You know, my mom, Jake."

"What did he do this time?" she questioned.

"Nothing, that's the thing. He doesn't get my problems," I say.

"He just doesn't know how to help you. You always turn him away when he tries to help you."

"Because he's not very good at with helping me with my problems," I plead.

"And Eli wasn't?" she said, with that voice that she always uses when trying to reason with me.

"Can you stop comparing Eli and Jake?"

"Well, the way you are talking lately, it seams like you would rather be with Eli instead of Jake," she spat at me.

"All I'm just saying that he's not the best person to go to for advice," I stated. I felt relieved when I heard the annoying bell chime through the hallways of the school.

"Whatever," she said in annoyance, "I have to get to class." Then she walked away. Well, that was a crappy start to the day.

By fourth period, I had two pop-quizzes, both of which I probably failed. My failing of the quizzes would lead to my mom getting mad at me, then getting into another fight with me. As I walked to study, I passed the JT Yorke memorial. I saw Adam lying on his stomach on one of the stone benches. Lilly was sitting next to his back, and massaging it playfully. I felt a pang of anger inside me, then it faded quickly. It wasn't worth getting mad over. I just stood there watching them, then I saw Eli walk into the court yard, and make some kind of sarcastic remark. Lilly lifted her hand off of Adams back, and slapped Eli on the stomach, to which he replied "Ouch!" to. I couldn't hear him, but I knew that was what he was saying. I could recognize that any day, it was his favorite sarcastic remark. Then Lilly said something back to Eli. He made a face at her. She said something else, and blew a kiss to him. The three of them laughed together. Anger built up inside of me. Lilly had taken my two best friends. Not only that, but I was jealous of Eli. He was so happy right now, after our break up. I broke up with him. I was supposed to be the one who was laughing and smiling, while he looked on upset, wishing we were still friends. But there I was, standing in a hallway, watching my ex boyfriend, ex best friend, and my future step-sister from afar, wishing I was as happy as them.

"Clare," I heard, as a hand rested on my shoulder, I jumped as my train of though was disturbed.

"Sorry," Jake said, as I turned around to see him.

"It's fine." I relaxed a bit.

"Listen, I'm sorry for what I said this morning," he said, I knew he meant it.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," I said, then walked away, I was going to be late for class.

By the time I got to English, I was numb. My pain made me unable to feel. I felt like I couldn't walk, and the weight of my books seemed too heavy to carry. Ms. Dawes saw me as I walked into the room.

"Ms. Edwards, are you okay?" she rang, as I walked past her.

"Yeah, just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all," I said, and walked to my seat. The class dragged on. We worked on editing our partner's work. Every so often, I would look over, and see Adam and Eli and their bromantic antics. I so badly wished I was sitting with them, laughing and joking with them, but I knew that I couldn't, so I would try and work on editing Samantha's essay. My head would end up refilling with thoughts of my life, and how it was going wrong, and I would be tempted to look back at them again, so I did. I thanked God when the bell rang, signifying that the period, and the school day, were over. I had to contain myself from sprinting out of the classroom.

I decided to take a short cut home through the woods behind the school. I walked a path for a few minutes. The sunlight was shining through the trees in a beautiful way. The leaves crunched under my feet. I felt as if I was going to cry, and within a minute or two, I was. Why was life getting to me? Even when my parents were getting divorced, I never felt this awful. And in all my life, I've never felt so alone. The pact that I made with myself not to cry, was no longer in existence, because no matter how hard I tried at that moment, I couldn't stop crying. I tried to focus on the positives, just to get my tears to stop, but for some reason, it only made things worse.

After a few minutes of walking, I decided to give into myself, and just allow myself to cry. I didn't bother muffling my sobs. I was in the woods, and no one would hear me. As I cried, relief slowly began to fill me. It was the first time in a long time since I felt relieved. I hadn't felt that good in so long. It was as if a ton of weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I reached my home, feeling refreshed. But the second I reached my doorway, I grew nervous. What would be waiting for me when I got into the house? My fingers trembling, I opened the front door. I took a step in the house, and saw Lilly walking in the living room. She was texting, but looked up when she heard me come in.

"Hey, Clare," she said with a smile.

"Hi," I replied.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been kind of bitter and cranky. More than usual," she said. It made me angry when she said that. Not because she pretty much insulted me, but because she didn't know anything about me, and because she was half the reason I was so bitter and cranky all the time. And it's not like I was bitter to everyone, just the people that pissed me off like her.

"You don't know anything about my mood," I spat.

"I'm just trying to help you," she said.

"I don't want your help, okay?"

"I was just checking, calm down. I'm trying to be nice to you."

"Why?" I asked, bitterly.

"Because I figured, that if we were going to live together, we might as well try and get along," she explained, trying to keep her calm.

"Well, I don't care for getting along with you, so you can drop the act."

"Why does it have to be an act?" she asked.

"Because, no one is sunshine and daisies all the time," I said, quoting Alli. She exhaled a deep breath.

"Is it so wrong to be a nice person?" she spat at me.

"It is, when I don't want to hear anything that comes from your mouth, let alone see you."

"You know what, Clare?" she exploded, "I have been nothing but nice to you since the moment I walked through these doors, and you have done nothing but make my life a living hell. I don't think it's fair."

"No, you made my life a living hell, because you just waltzed in here, and took over my family. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"I don't know if you realized, Clare, but I had to pick up my life and move here, so that you wouldn't have to. So stop being a selfish bitch, and get over yourself!"

"You don't know anything about me," I said, and ran up to my room. I cried. I cried over the fact I was just called a bitch, I cried over the fact that she was right, I cried over the fact that I felt like no one understood me, I cried over all the fights I got into. I cried because it all was too much.

I forced my tear ducts to hold in the tears back long enough to walk across the hall to the bathroom, no one could hear me cry in the shower. I turned the water on in the shower, and made it as hot as possible. Stripped down, and stepped in the shower, and immediately broke back down into sobs. I sat on the floor of the tub, and just let the water burn my skin as I cried. Why was all of this so hard for me to handle?

After a few minutes, I remember looking up, as I swallowed hard. I noticed my razor sitting on the edge of the bathtub. I stared at it for a while. I was never so tempted to take it and slice my skin open. I was desperate for a way out of this pain, and this seemed to be the best solution. With my shaking hand, I grabbed the razor. I brought it to my thigh, and made a gash in my skin, it was thin, but about two inches long. Relief over took me. It was like the crying, but faster. I just sat in the bathtub, water falling on me, watching the blood drip out of the cut, and down the bottom of the tub, and into the drain, until the bleeding stopped.

**Okay, so that's the really long chapter. I know it's long, and not very well written. I didn't have much time to edit it. But here it is. I'm going to try and update some more today of not just this, but of my other stories, but we'll see. I have a lot to do today. Anyways, review. I love reviews. :)**

**~Andy**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I wrote anything for you guys. I went to camp and I didn't have any time to post. But now I'm back, so I hope you like this chapter. **

Lilly: I laid awake in my bed. It was about one in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I had a lot on my mind. I was thinking about Adam and Eli, and how they were so sweet, and letting me into their lives, and how I was hiding most of myself from them. I wanted to tell them everything about myself, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I never liked being close to people.

As I laid in my bed, I listened to the silence, trying to get my mind off my life. The still silence was slowly broken by the sound of tears. It didn't take me long to realize that Clare was crying in her sleep. It wasn't loud, just silent sobbing. I couldn't help but feel an ache in my chest because the reason Clare was so depressed was because of me. I came here, and invaded her life: I came to her school, took her sister's room, and in a way took her mother. I knew she was crying because of me. I had ruined her life. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did, just by walking through her front door. I wanted to run into her room, and hug her, and tell her I was sorry. I also wanted to tell her that moving to Toronto was the greatest thing to happen to me. It saved me. I wanted to tell her that hurting her was never my intention. But I couldn't. I knew it would mean nothing to her, and would make things worse. I wished there was something I could do.

As I laid in my bed, I focused my thoughts on Clare. I listened to her quiet sobs. I knew she was asleep, because I knew that she wouldn't have let someone hear her if she was awake. Yes, I know that it was my fault, but I couldn't help but wonder: what else made her so damaged? I knew that her home life couldn't be the only factor. What happened to her? My father had explained her as this bright, lively individual, but all I see is a broken girl. What happened? Something else happened. I wanted to know, but at the same time, I didn't. I never pushed people to tell their secrets, mainly because I refused to tell my own. I thought about all the possibilities, just to keep myself occupied, but every time I thought of something, I realized that it couldn't be possible. It couldn't be a boyfriend issue: I'd seen the way Jake looked at her, with so much love and care. I knew he would take care of her. Then I thought: maybe it was a friend issue? No, it couldn't be. I would hear her on the phone at late hours of the night, talking to Alli. Why would she have issues with a friend who is always there for her? It may have been stress with school. But that wasn't possible, because I've seen her take tests without studying. Perfect scores on almost everything. What else was there? Other than her family life. I was stumped. What could be hurting her?

When my alarm went off, I hadn't gotten a single second of shuteye. Clare's crying had stopped around 4 AM. Poor girl, she must have felt awful when she woke up. I got up from my bed, and walked over to a cardboard box, I hadn't gotten around to completely unpacking so most of my clothes were still in boxes. I pulled out a silver sequined tank top, and a blazer, and a pair of skinny jeans. Once I changed out of my pajamas, and put on the clothes, I went down stairs to get breakfast.

The first few periods were a drag. They went on slowly and tediously. Fourth period I had a study hall. Adam had History and Eli had gym. We decided to ditch together and hang out in the courtyard. For some reason it was still warm enough to sit outside for 45 minutes. When I got there, Adam was already there. He was sitting in one of the benches, facing away from me, with a binder open in his lap. I walked up behind him, and poked him, right below his shoulder blade, but it was a bit harder than I intended. He winced in pain.

"Sorry," I said, as he turned around.

"It's fine. I'm just sore," he said.

"Why are you sore?"

"I have not idea, I guess I just slept funny."

"Lay down," I told him.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Just lay down on your stomach." With a confused look, he did so. I began running my hands over his back, looking for knots in his muscles. He winced.

"Sorry," I said.

"It's fine. It actually feels kind of good. AH!" he winced again.

"It's gonna hurt, but you will feel better once I'm done with you," I explained to him. He was tense. "Adam, just relax. It's gonna hurt you less if you are relaxed." He slowly relaxed, as I began working out a knot. After a few minuets, Eli finally showed up.

"Trying to seduce him with a massage, eh?" he said, with his smirk. I slapped him in the stomach.

"At least I can get laid," I said, jokingly, even though I haven't had sex in a while. He made a face at me, which made me laugh.

"You love me," I said, and blew him a kiss, then we laughed together playfully.

**That's that chapter! I hope you guys liked it! Review, please?**


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